Make 'em Pay
by kris932
Summary: Bets, swear toads, and Foaly keeping book for the office wagers? Holly Short’s day really couldn’t get worse…and then Trouble comes along. Mix in one gun-ho retrieval Captain and his best female friend swearing revenge on her sexist retrieval squad.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Not mine. Eoin Colfer owns it all.

"The first female in Recon," groaned the commander.

"You're going to wash out in six months," continued Root, "and probably cost me a fortune." – page 73 of _The Artemis Fowl Files_

0o0o0o0

_**Police Plaza, Haven City; The Lower Elements.**_

Trouble Kelp, one major gung ho Captain in the LEPrecon force had arrived to work on this fine sunny day (based off the lighting strips, of course, they were underground after all) ready to get into the swing of things. If Kelp had been less of a jock and more of a jolly sort of fellow he might have even been whistling. But he arrived to work tune free thankfully and reported into his commanding officer.

Sadly, Root was in a foul mood and believed that his officers should be as miserable as him and quickly sent him off to his office to finish up a few small mountains worth of paperwork. Paperwork was of course the bane of all good officers who were itching for a little bit of fieldwork each and every day of their lives. Trouble was no different.

Sadly, it looked like his day would not be getting any more exciting anytime soon. After all there were a stack of tickets and warrants he had to sort through to send off to his commander, badly written field reports that needed revising, and other various menacing stacks just taunting him with their…very being.

But he didn't really have a choice in the matter, so he hunkered down and started to slog though the smallest stack on his desk. After he finished the first stack (in what amounted to be a ridiculously long amount of time) he had no choice but to move on to the next stack. He was really going to have to learn to not procrastinate on his paper work.

It was in the middle of his third stack of papers that he stumbled upon his badly doodled on calendar that his mother had sent to both him and Grub earlier that year.

Grub was known to use his calendar faithfully for notes and appointments (he was quite pleased with his mommy's gift, and made sure to let everyone know) Trouble…well not so much. In fact, besides a few sketches and scratches that passed for words, there were only two dates circled to be of any real importance on his calendar.

'Oh Frond,' thought Trouble to himself, quickly abandoning any of his paper work in favor of the two LEP green circles on his much abused and forgotten calendar, 'is my day looking up or what?'

0o0o0o0

_**A Dark Slimy Tunnel **_

The young, relatively new, and most importantly the only female on the force was having and even worse day than Trouble was having before he discovered his old calendar. Captain Holly Short was currently slinking out of a darkened tunnel back wards with her hands firmly clasped around her rear. The ringing sounds of her fellow officers' laughter following her and ruining her concentration as she firmly wished herself invisible. The poor elf.

She had been assigned with a small squad of officers to sweep a set of abandoned tunnels. There had been recent reports of possible troll activity in the area. Captain Short and four other officers had been the lucky ones to go and investigate the reports. Hey, it beat sitting in the office and fighting through the piles of paperwork. Well at least it did before she unwittingly leaned up against a swear toad's hidey hole in one of the tunnels slimy walls. The nasty little bastard hopped out and sank its teeth right into Holly's backside. The resounding yelp and locker room swearing following this lost the squad any stealth they may have had before.

(See the thing about swear toads is this: a) they have teeth unlike their Mud Toad counterparts above ground. b) Magical healing does not work instantly when bitten by one of these buggers due to special mucus in their mouths. c) their bites cause painful swelling, along with ridicule and laughter from peers lucky enough to witness the spectacle.)

Holly whipped out her Neutrino 1000 and aimed it at the offending toad.

" D'Arvit." The toad croaked looking up into the barrel of the furious Captain, "bloody 'ell"

"Hey, Captain, _sir_, do ya need some help there?" asked on of the other fairies on the force a rather beefed up looking sprite called Coulter. One of his buddies's smirked and slugged the tip of his wing in a joking manner before joining in.

"Right, _sir_, we all understand how terrible swear toads are compared to the possibility of a troll attack."

"Thanks, Corporal, I think I got it covered." Holly snarled back at the offending officer. That _sir_ comment always made her furious. Usually she could handle it by simply beating everyone's flight records and arrests…today though...

"Hell no," the toad croaked.

"D'ARVIT!" Holly and the toad managed to snarl/croak at the same time before…well lets just say the helpless toad never stood a chance against the Neutrino 1000 that had just fired.

The wincing Captain holstered her Neutrino and attempted to storm past her fellow officers. However the bite, now painfully swelling affected her walking so it really didn't look very scary or even furious, just pathetic.

The four other fairies were now doubled over gasping for air in between their jokes and jibes aimed at their lady Captain.

'By Frond and the Book', she vowed silently as she limped out of the tunnel, 'I'm going to make them pay.'

0o0o0o0

"Hey Troub, did you hear…?" began Grub sidling up to his older brother in the hall way as Trouble made his way down to the centaur technician Foaly's office.

"What is it this time, Grub?" He mumbled not really planning on listening to the long litany of items that would surely follow his question.

Sure enough Grub began to complain about the newest secretary pixie on his floor, what he had for breakfast, the elf that had asked him to shut up about his mommy and it seemed to go on and on.

And then Grub mentioned one interesting thing, almost as an after thought.

"…blue radio active ice cream…oh, and the girly Captain Bolly, Holly somethin' got bitten by a swear toad and according to Coulter she's bound to just get up and quit by the end of the day." Grub finished off, failing to see that his older brother had stopped dead in the middle of the hallway. Grub walked right into his brother and went sprawling onto the rather dirty hallway.

"Ouch, _Trouble_ I'm telling mommy….now my shin hurts…and I'm going to have to _wash _this uniform now."

Trouble stood still for a second completely failing to notice his brother whining on the floor until he had fully processed what his brother had said. Holly. Short. Was. Quitting.

This wasn't good. Not good at all. This could not be right. He had to go talk to that fiery female recon jock right this instant.

He was off running in the direction of Holly Short's office leaving his bewildered little brother in his wake.

**If you couldn't tell this is set in the pre-Artemis days….the exactish time frame will come later.**

**So be kind and review and feel free to tell me anything you think. Criticism that is constructive is always most welcome. **


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

Thanks for all the reviews; I was really pleased by all the feed back.

0o0o0o0o0

Holly Short was painfully attempting to sit on her office chair, with her head buried in her arms. Elves were emotional creatures and today had taken a toll on her nerves. It certainly didn't help that her rear end hurt like hell. She was sniffling into the palms of her hands ignoring her own stacks of paper work and flashing messages on her desktop communicator system. Foaly kept trying to contact her but she was really in no mood for her centaur friend. She wanted this day to be mind wiped right out of her co-workers memories and maybe even her own.

Some days she wished she wasn't the first and only female captain in the LEP. It would be nice to hang out with a fellow girl after a harsh day or losing a crunchball game. She realized she was one of those _females_ that never had girlfriends to shop or party with.

It was just she wanted some girl talk to vent and swear revenge on her sexist fellow officers. Sometimes it all was enough to drive this elf insane.

Then things got crazier with the arrival of Trouble. More like the crash of Trouble into her locked office door. He was probably expecting it to be wide open like normal. Holly found she like having her office open while she was working in it. See what was going on talk to a few of the other fairies around.

Her friend caught himself against the see through glass door and franticly made a motion for Holly to open the door.

Holly, still wincing painfully, got out of her out of date office hover chair and limped over to let her fellow Captain into the room.

"Sorry, I just wanted some privacy." She ruefully admitted to Trouble as he entered her office. "I guess you were expecting the door open, huh?"

"Just a little bit, first time I've seen you with your door locked." He answered rubbing his arm where he had slammed into the door.

"Well it's been a rough day I needed some privacy." Holly grimaced and folded her arms over her uniform.

"I take it you're not quitting."

"QUIT?! D'arvit! Why would I do that Trouble? Oh, right. Let me guess Coulter and Moss and the rest of them have been already spreading the word about my _incident_ today?"

Trouble nodded looking a lot less rushed and disturbed now that he knew his friend was still holding her own.

Holly smirked at her friend, "It's going to take more than a bad day, insults, and a swear toad to drive me out of here."

"Good, because you quitting today was just not an option. Not that I want you to quit at all, but I was going to force you to stay at least two more days…or so. But this is even better. Not to mention I'd miss kicking everyone's arse at crunchball if you left."

"What did you do?"

"Do?" asked Trouble trying to look innocent and failing.

"There's a reason your name is Trouble, Trouble." Holly replied before heading back to her hover chair to sit down.

"Well, it's not a long story, but I think you'll appreciate it, Holly." Trouble answered moving one of the piles of paper work off of her desk with a smile so he could lean against the edge of the desk. "Especially in light of…recent events."

0o0o0o0

Meanwhile the overly paranoid centaur Foaly was standing in front of his favorite computer screen grinning widely. His tinfoil hat was cocked at what he had though was a dashing angle (but mainly just looked silly and bizarre) in celebration of the reminder that just had flashed up on his screen. In fact this was such a big deal he was going to have to design a whole new tinfoil hat in honor of this occasion.

Then a computer generated voice sounding oddly like himself asked:

**Countdown to last day of six official months begins. Would the administrator like to open or delete this file? **

Well he wanted to open this of course. He also wanted to reprogram this stiff way of speaking, what a horrible way to converse with his computer. Even if he couldn't imagine a nicer voice to listen too, it was so intelligent sounding.

**Open**

The screen opened up to a rather large file that made Foaly grin and tramp his hooves even more making him look quite deranged.

In fact his grin and actions scared away one of his junior pixie technicians that had been rewiring one of the LEPhelmets near by. Foaly barely spared the retreating pixie half a glance before turning to one of his communicators and entered in the code to connect him to Captain Trouble Kelp.

0o0o0o0

"….and that's how we'll make 'em pay, Short!" Trouble finished off his story with a flourish that succeeded in wiping a pile of papers off Holly's desk and on to the floor. "Oh, sorry, I'll get them for you."

Just as he hopped off the desk to get the scattered papers his communicator vibrated on his belt. He flipped it open and glanced down at the message.

"Perfect timing, Captain Short, that was Foaly. Ready to see the full extent of the damage you have caused?" Trouble asked ignoring the papers and throwing up a crisp (sarcastic) salute in to his fellow officer with a grin.

"Yes, sir, Captain Kelp!" she replied with a laugh and a wince as she sat up to quickly. That bite wasn't healing nearly fast enough for her.

"How about a pizza later at my place as we try and finish some of that paper work we are avoiding oh-so-well to day?" Trouble asked as he held open the office door for his suffering friend. Swear toads…if Holly wasn't such a good friend he'd be cracking up too. It was kind of funny one had to admit.

Maybe in time Holly would be able to look back on this day and laugh about the whole swear toad in a tunnel thing. Or not.

"I think that would be a good way to rap to day up. Well, the pizza not the paper work. So let's see Foaly and then get out of this place."

The two elves headed off to the centaur's lab with smirks on their faces. This was going to be good.

**Reading and reviewing with long helpful critiques makes one wealthy and wise. **


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Not mine.

**I'm sorry this is being posted so late. I went on vacation with my family over Christmas break and didn't have my laptop or the internet. Annoying, yes but I couldn't do anything about it. So here it is and only one more chapter after this one to go. **

**Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!**

0o0o0o0o

Somewhere in the small apartment a very loud very annoying alarm was going off. It was morning already, time to rise and greet the first rays of light off the sun strips. Holly rolled over expecting to feel her way to her alarm clock so she could throw it against the wall and stop that blasted ringing noise.

No such luck. Instead she promptly rolled off the side of the narrow couch she had passed out on. That was odd. Why was she on her couch, and when did her couch become lopsided and badly colored beige? Contrary to semi-popular belief she did have good taste.

Wincing from where she landed on her bottom (swear toads=evil, enough said) and aching everywhere else from her dead sleep on the couch Holly managed to stand up almost gracefully.

She stretched her arms over her head and rolled her shoulders trying to loosen up. Pizza and paperwork at Trouble's apartment last night and she ended up crashing for the night. Thank Frond they both had the day off unless called in for some reason.

It wouldn't be all that fun to arrive at work in yesterday's grimy uniform complete with slime and swear mucus in some embarrassing places. Moss and Coulter and all those other idiots that hated seeing a girl finally get ahead would just rub it in her face if she wasn't up to par each and every day. She was their superior on top of it. But, after that meeting with Trouble and Foaly, Holly knew she was finally going to have a chance to hit them where it hurts.

Just remembering the whole deal made her smile…

0o0o0o0

_**Police Plaza, Haven City; The Lower Elements. The day before, in Foaly's lab.**_

Captains Kelp and Short were just passing Foaly's first level of security when the centaur in question came clomping out to drag them into his private office. It was the first time either one of the captains had been able to by-pass all the security. Foaly was paranoid of **everyone**. As everyone even his friends well knew.

"So I take it by your smirking face that Trouble here, has filled you in on most of the details, right."

Holly nodded and stood by Trouble's hover chair. It hurt less to stand she realized a little late in the game.

"Six months ago, Holly, you managed to make old Julius swallow his pride and accept you onto the force. Something I've been trying to do with my technology for years…"

"That was some fine shooting that day, Hols."

"Shooting aside, the commander didn't think you'd make it six months on the job. Word spread like Mud Man flu and suddenly the whole force was convinced you would drop the job in six months to go home to your mommy."

"Hah, even my brother hasn't done that yet…Sorry…go on."

Foaly stopped glaring at Kelp who interrupted conversations all too often. Julius was all ways getting pissed off about this too. But really Foaly was one to talk.

"Simply because you are a girl and an elf to boot. That's way too much emotion for an officer." Trouble cut in before Foaly could begin again. Foaly tried to pelt Trouble with one of his carrots but missed and winced as his favorite snack hit the floor just passed his intended target.

"What was that? Maybe your computer should throw for you next time."

Foaly whinnied angrily and crossed his arms quite childishly. He was so underappreciated around here.

"Guys?" Holly finally broke in, hoping to get back on topic before the centaur and elf could antagonize each other some more. She was tired, in pain and wanted that pizza Trouble promised.

"Sorry Holly, before I was rudely interrupted by your jock of a co-worker, I was about to tell you how six months ago some fairies around Police Plaza didn't think you were cut out for the work, which, of course is ridiculous. Many said they would bet cold hard gold that you would drop out within weeks or half a year."

"So Foaly and I decided to hold them to their word. We began an office wide bet. Foaly keeps the books, simply to make sure they are tamper free, not because he knows anything about gambling." Trouble finished up, looking around at the security he had mentioned.

"Very few fairies gambled that you'd stay. Trouble's in for quite a lot of gold when he wins."

"So the closing date for this bet is my six months on the job?"

"Yep."

"That's today?"

"Tomorrow…"

"Explains why Trouble didn't want me to drop out. He seemed oh so concerned."

"Hey it wasn't just the money…I was worried about you, really, you are one of my best friends…"

"Right and I'm worth how much to you if you win this bet?"

"I offered to split the winnings with you!"

"And I said yes to that offer Trubs."

"Smart girl."

"Shut up Pony."

"Great we have a mini-Julius in training."

The three friends/co-conspirers looked at each other and started to snigger that went on to become a full-fledged fit of laughter.

0o0o0o0

"Thinking about yesterday?"

"Oh yeah."

Trouble had walked into his living room to find Holly standing stiffly in front of the couch with a broad smirk on her face. She also looked a good deal uncomfortable. That couch really needed to be replaced he should have offered her the bed even if he knew she would have refused.

"Can I use your shower before work? And maybe some painkillers if you have any."

"Yeah of course, towels on the shelf beside my desk. Swear toads are nasty little buggers aren't they?"

"You noticed."

Holly brushed passed him, smile gone from her face as she went off to her much needed shower.

A good half hour later, Holly looking much more friendly and awake walked into Trouble's excuse for a kitchen and grabbed herself a nettle smoothie and left over piece of pizza for breakfast.

"So what's the game plan for today, and are we ever going to finish this paperwork?" she asked settling into and empty chair that faced a pile of have finished work.

"I think the commander will kill us if we don't finish it before we arrive."

"Good point. D'arvit I was looking forward to getting to work and wiping the lot of them out of their money. I have to say Trouble, even though I'm ticked that no one bother to tell me about this bet before, I'm seriously going to enjoy watching you collect your winnings. By the way, Foaly mentioned a few other people placed bets on my side, who are they?"

'Reminder to self' thought Trouble as he glanced at his companion, 'stay on Holly Short's good side'. She was scary when mad.

"Really not sure…I guess we'll find out together. Why are traffic reports so boring?" Trouble replied chewing on the end of his pen glaring at a report that was in front of him. He needed some field work before this drove him mad.

0o0o0o0o0

**REVIEW!!!! If you see any grammar/spelling mistakes please point them out to me. I'm trying to keep everyone in character, so let me know if I'm slipping up on that. There should be one more chapter posted in the next week or so on this story. So thank you for all the great reviews so far and keep reading!**


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